Here are the highlights from our Super Six session with Jet Xavier
- Embrace, Play, I Am, Connect – the E.P.I.C. framework
- Embrace your fear rather than resist it; when mistakes happen, learn from them.
- When playing the long game, treat your experiences as fun
“Fear is a healthy thing. See it as that. Understand that what’s happening in your body is just an emotional response. It’s chemical.”
So who wants to be epic? Everybody wants to be epic, yeah? Of course. No one wants to be average, it’s all about being epic.
So here’s the thing: I got trained in fitness by a couple of ex-commando guys. I did a 6-month blast with them. I got told a story once about one of them landing in enemy terry in a helicopter, and they jumped out, and there’s 15 of them in the helicopter that had to jump out.
So they’ve landed, you know, when you see helicopters it’s just dust, it’s just a “ppfff” flying out. So they’ve landed and he said that the dust has cleared and he’s looked behind and no one was there.
So, they planned to jump out, but no one’s jumped out. He’s been the only one. Something’s going wrong and he’s being left there.
Now someone like me, a mere mortal, I would have crapped my pants! I have fainted probably, yep? But they’re trained to be able to embrace that type of fear. They’re trained to be able to handle that type of emotion.
And the first E in E.P.I.C. is about ‘Embrace’. You’ve got to embrace your fear. This is what happens, we try and resist fear. Fear’s healthy.
If you’re walking too close to a building, is going to tell you, yeah? If you step off a curb too quickly with a car coming, it’s going to let you know. If something’s going to harm you or your family, then that’s what fear’s about, it’s a safety mechanism.
What it’s become is something that’s being labelled to scare us. It’s become an emotional feeling, “Oh my god!” Like some of you today are at different levels of fear.
Why? Because you’re thinking about it in the wrong way. If you’ve been socialised, you’ve been normalised, you’ve been conditioned throughout your life, to be afraid of fear.
Because real estate is a fearful place to exist. Because people are judging you, people are saying things; people are going to like you or hate you. You’re putting yourself out there in your marketing, they’re drawing moustaches on your face. It’s not a job where you hide in an office all day and no one knows who you are.
So, a lot of fear and a lot of that stuff comes along with it. And when you’re looking at doing something like you’re doing today, well that elevates that fear. And what I’m saying is if you just embrace it and don’t resist it, and start to understand that this is something to help you, not harm you, that’s a big change.
I can tell you, categorically, if there’s something that’s not working in your business or life or any aspect of your humanity, it’s because you’re not embracing it.
Fear is a healthy thing. See it as that. Understand that what’s happening in your body is just an emotional response. It’s chemical. What’s happening in your mind are just thoughts that are just being created around the fear that you’ve given labels to that make you understand what’s going on.
“Snake! Bite me, I’m dead!” No good, right? Chemicals, thought process, yeah? What about the people that go, “Snake, wow that’s a long one. I might just step over here and check it out a little bit more. Wow that’s pretty cool.” Different, yeah?
Same feeling, “Oh whoa, snake!” But hang on a second, there’s a curious mind attached to it. There’s an inquiring mind attached to it. There’s an embracing of what’s been put in front of them.
Okay, so that’s the E in E.P.I.C. The P is ‘play’. Play! This should be fun. I always say to my guys and girls, if you’re tense, if you’re stressed, if you feel pressure, you know all that anxiety, worry, nervousness, you’re telling the future, you’re catastophising … there’s something wrong.
There’s something wrong with the model. Who signed up for that? Nobody. That’s not life. So why do we tolerate it, in life and in business? That’s not what we signed up for. We signed up for this earth to have a great time, right or wrong? Yeah. That’s why we’re here.
The third thing is I, ‘I am’. If I asked you, ‘Who are you?”, what would you write down?
It’s not a question we ask ourselves most often. But it’s the most important question. Because there’s something unique about all of you. And most of us have forgotten what that is.
Most of you are too afraid to make a mistake today; you think, “Oh my God!” No, I hope you make heaps of mistakes. Because that’s the only way you’re going to learn. But I also hope you shine in the thing that you’re good at.
All right. So E.P.I.C., C, the last one. C is ‘connect’. Why are you doing what you’re doing today? What is the purpose of it? What aspect are you passionate about?
You see, you’re going to go to your listing presentation worrying about the process and analysing the skill aspect of it to try and make it perfect, because you don’t know who you are. You feel good about yourself to a certain extent, so this is an opportunity to prove yourself.
You don’t need to go in and prove anything. You just need to go in and be passionate, and have a purpose about why you’re in there.
“I’m in there to learn something. I’m in there to see what questions they ask. I’m there just for the experience. I’m in there to fail. I’m in there to shine. I’m in there for some reason. I’m having a purpose here today. My purpose isn’t to self-destruct and be self-critical, and try and be perfect. And try and have the best listing presentation in the world, and try and impress these people.”
That might be your purpose. But if that is, you’re off track. It’s going to be something deeper.
I’m not here to talk to you about how to be epic today. I’m here to wage war against your averageness. That’s why I’m here.